People are always asking me how I became such a confident and engaging public speaker. The truth is, it wasn’t always that way for me. If you had asked me to introduce myself 15 years ago, I probably would have stuttered and stumbled over my words. Back then, I really struggled with confidence, social anxiety and effective communication.
But here’s the thing – being socially skilled and communicating well are learnable abilities, just like any other skill. With practice, patience and the right strategies, anyone can overcome shyness and anxiety in social situations.
Here are three practical tips that helped me transform from the quietest person in the room to a poised public speaker:
1. Practice Small Talk:
Small talk may seem trivial, but it’s actually an essential social skill. Start by making an effort to chat with cashiers, baristas, or whoever you encounter during your day.
Don’t be like everybody else and just ask them how their day is going. Be more intentional with your question. Ask them, “what is the best part of your day?”
2. Shift Your Mindset:
Your mind will believe anything that you tell it. If you constantly tell yourself that you’re not good at making friends or that you struggle with social anxiety, your mind will gladly hold you hostage with that belief. Instead, start telling yourself that you are going to make today great by making small talk with five people you’ve never met before.
3. Set Yourself Up For Success:
I hear it over and over again at every single school that I go to. “I have a hard time making friends“. Upon further investigation, I find out that they go to school and sit in the back, sit by themselves on the bus and then go home and lock themselves in their room.
If you’re not putting yourself in the right environment to actually meet people and make friends, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
By implementing strategies like these consistently over time, you too can gain confidence and become a skilled communicator. It takes work, but overcoming social anxiety is absolutely possible.
